Joseph Kabila Sentenced to Death in Absentia by DRC Military Court Amid Mystery and Mayhem

In a jaw-dropping turn of events, a military court in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) has sentenced former President Joseph Kabila to death in absentia, convicting him of war crimes and treason. The court accused Kabila of supporting the M23 rebel group, notorious for wreaking havoc across the eastern region of the country. According to the charges, Kabila stands accused of a laundry list of crimes including treason, crimes against humanity, murder, sexual assault, torture, and insurrection.

Kabila was convicted on Friday, but the ex-president was a notable no-show, choosing not to appear in court to defend himself. Instead, he dismissed the trial as “arbitrary” and claimed the courts were nothing more than an “instrument of oppression.” Adding to the mystery, his current whereabouts remain unknown , sparking wild speculation that he might be hiding out in a secret underground bunker, or perhaps training as a ninja in the Congolese jungle.

Observers were left scratching their heads, wondering if Kabila’s absence was a tactical move or simply a case of him forgetting where the court was located. Meanwhile, the court’s verdict has left many questioning whether this is a political spectacle or a dramatic plot twist straight out of a thriller novel.

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