Yes, we are in another week and we are bringing you another sizzling hot session of the ancient city’s exclu- sive dotcoms. Toita sei ne- vanhu veMasvingo? Hatichina vanhu muno. Dzose dzangova mhuka. Vana Abhero nana- Abhigero kuda zvinhu kwenyu uko mumwe achafa akatarira mudenga sesolar. Isu hedu vana

HOTH are always kumaGumtree kwedu religiously monitoring our screens as Video Assistant Referees (VAR)-checking how you are spending your pri- vate time. As long you are a human being and you spend your life on this universe you are bound to have skeletons in your cupboard, but you have to manage them, before another Value at Risk (VaR) creeps in.

Now, this VaR is different from the one I mentioned earlier on because this one is a statistic that quantifies the extent of possible financial losses within a firm, portfolio, or position over a specific time frame. This metric is most commonly used by investment and commercial banks to determine the extent and probabilities of potential losses in their institutional portfolios. So, before you get in any en- tanglement or any other crazy stuff that usually sneaks in during that moment of mad- ness, remember your ‘value’ socially, depreciates in a jiffy if the Video Assistant Referee catches you during a replay of your transgressions.

By the way pata pata ranga rapera ndichidzifambira dzaanaMapamba nemukadzi waBen uya wepa CBZ uya. The cheating drunken couple is being accused of crushing an- other couple which was riding on a motor bike before paying the police to have the matter swept under the carpet. HOTH will be following the matter to last.

Anywhere let’s get down today’s business. I am told there is this couple in the leafy suburb of Rhodene that works for a certain guy who has a melanin deficiency not by choice but by God’s design. I mean the guy’s skin pigmentation is white and he speaks through the nose. Don’t get me wrong guys; I am not being a racist. I just don’t know how to put it across.

I am told the guy used to own a farm somewhere near Roy, but has now re- treated to the affluent suburb in town. I am not sure if he is the Roy guy or he was just a farmer there, but I heard this employer tasked his helpers to find another employee for him. The innocent wife sug- gested that her hubby bring his mother’s little sister.

The hubby immediately bought the idea and mom’s little sister was in town in no time. Hanzi mai ava vanoda zvinhu kunge mwena wemasvosve. So she started dressing scantly in the presence of her son. The description that was con- veyed to HOTH is mouth-wa- tering. The guy who narrated the story said she was that kind of a person who is beau- tiful in nature. Hanzi kumusha kwanga kwavasakadza and the diet were not up standard. When she came to town she started taking her bath regu- larly and that suggestive figure started to build up.

I heard she started developing side pockets apa chiri chib- hora . The son started having ideas after seeing, no not seeing but ogling or rubber- necking or gawking her mom whenever she was coming out of the bathroom wrapped in that DT. Oh, by the way some of you are from the other side of the country you might not be aware that a DT is a Drying Towel.

I am told the guy had to summon all his courage to throw his word across and the mom readily agreed. Imi woye kutaurirwa huny- imwa mbare dzekumusana. The two started their cat and mouse love affair. One thing I know is that if you start one thing it will lead to another and then another until you can’t control it. So the mom ended up with a bulging stomach.

Hanzi the elders have taken the matter to a Chief somewhere in Gutu. I will bring the update from the chief.